All or Nothing Thinking and How it Relates to Dieting

All or nothing thinking only leaves us with two options - success or failure, when in reality most of you spend your time somewhere in the middle and probably closer to success than you realize.

It can also escalate things from a challenging situation to a personal crisis (ex: binging on pizza one night has you questioning whether or not you can do this) which can feel much more overwhelming to overcome. In literature, you may see this called dichotomous thinking. And before we dive further, please note that this is not medical advice meant to replace psychotherapy for dichotomous thinking patterns.

So how does all or nothing thinking usually pop up when it comes to your health? It could look like: 

• Dieting during the week and going all out on the weekends (even if it’s your intention not to) 

• Hyper fixating on specific things like supplementation, meal timing, macros, etc. without having a solid foundation first (such as consistent sleep, stress management, and hydration) 

• Fearing weekends, social events, or vacations because you anticipate you will “fall off track” 

• Sunday guilt that follows a weekend of drinking and eating out 

• Skipping meals and having a restrictive mindset around food until it no longer feels sustainable 

  Unfortunately, social media is very polarized and flooded with conflicting (and extreme)  information. Plus many popular diets prey off of all or nothing thinkers. Yes, I’m talking about keto, weight watchers, beach body and more. They preach “this” or “that” instead of giving you the tools to be successful long term. Take it from someone who used to workout twice a day and eat minimal carbohydrates during the weekdays, only to be met by overeating (with an inability to stop), alcohol, and all of the carbohydrates you can think of Saturday and Sunday. What first started as subtle, continued to escalate until the Sunday night guilt was too much to bear and I knew I had to do something about it. I became aware of the effect the extremes were having on my relationship with food, family/friends, weekends, and vacations. As if that weren’t bad enough, it eventually started to take a toll on my physical body as well.

  While all or nothing thinking can be mentally draining, it is also very physically draining.

  If you are someone that has tried many different diets with the goal of caloric restriction you may have seen results the first few times you dieted but struggled to keep those results following. With each subsequent dieting attempt that follows, you cut calories lower and lower until it no longer felt sustainable. 

  The reason that you may have had to continuously decrease calories is because every time you diet, your body adapts. Your body’s main goal is to keep you alive so if there is a lack of calories coming in, your body naturally starts to slow down metabolic processes that take place, reducing your overall caloric burn. While this does not pose a threat when it’s acute, it can become problematic when chronic. Overtime, hormones that are responsible for hunger and fullness cues, thyroid health, sex hormone health, and stress management are negatively impacted. 

  Additionally, many of you probably have first hand experience with the way stress can impact gut health. Maybe you’re getting ready to leave the house for a date and all of a sudden you need to run to the bathroom. Or maybe you’re giving a presentation for work and all of a sudden your lower stomach feels like it’s in knots. Or maybe you’ve eaten on the go and in a rush, only to be met with terrible heartburn after. Most of you already know, pretty intuitively, that a link exists between stress and poor gut health. If you are experiencing constant stress around food, I bet you can imagine you’re not optimally digesting that food. When this becomes chronic, people tend to see more persistent GI symptoms come up, only adding fuel to the fire. 

  While not all hormonal and digestive issues can be solved simply by healing from all or nothing thinking, it is the first (and most important) foundational step you need to take. I’ll explain why this is and even give you real life examples (aka mistakes I’ve made in coaching). 

  When I first started helping women with PCOS, hypothalamic amenorrhea, IBS, SIBO, GERD, and more, I crafted up the perfect plans for them to get them feeling their best. The plans often included large shifts in their diet, exercise, and consistent supplementation. On paper it seemed simple. In real life, I found not so much. While some clients already have a solid foundation to implement this type of plan, many do not and it can add fuel to the fire when the foundations are not addressed first. 
  

  I’ll give you an example of a past client that was diagnosed with PCOS.

  This client described herself as highly motivated and willing to do whatever it took in order to heal and lose the weight she had gained over the years following yo-yo dieting. And at first, things went great. Or so they seemed great. However, after about a month she stopped checking in all together, because she was “afraid of disappointing me”. What she didn’t realize was all or nothing thinking had taken over. If she couldn’t do everything, why do anything? I quickly recognize that as a coach, I should have explored and undressed this underlying mindset first before assigning her tasks. While I didn’t expect her to do things perfectly, she did put this pressure on herself. This client had signed a 4-month contract with me but week after week (despite me reaching out) I did not hear back from her. Finally, when I was able to get a hold of her and encourage her to schedule a zoom call, we were able to talk things out. By asking the right questions, I had found she was dealing with some pretty intense all or nothing thinking that had rooted back to her childhood. Her parents were yo-yo dieters themselves and the weekdays were always clean and controlled, while weekends were the time to go all out. Additionally, she frequently found herself joining the “clean your plate” club whenever going out in order to get her money’s worth and knowing this wouldn’t be food she could eat during the week. Either that or she was so deprived that by the time she sat down at a restaurant, she had no idea how to stop because the food tasted so good. While the diet guidelines I had recommended to her did offer more freedom and flexibility than she was used to, she still had trouble breaking this harmful mindset. Therefore I knew it was something we needed to work on first and while there were many things we did to help her break this mindset, I want to share with you one of my favorites. It’s as simple as this:

  Have cake on Wednesday. I’m serious.

  And if you don’t like cake, have whatever it is that you do like. Part of the reason many of you tend to go all out over the weekend is because you feel this is the ONLY time you’re able to have “bad” foods. So of course when the weekend comes around, you’re going to embody that scarcity mindset and naturally have as much as you can. While I know it sounds counterintuitive to incorporate less nutritious foods where you wouldn’t normally, this is a tactic I use even with my athletes in fat loss phases. What happens is this: you begin to recognize you can have this food whenever you would like and it becomes less of an urgency to eat over the weekends. This results in smaller portions or passing up the dessert altogether, simply because you might not feel like it anymore. While cravings are normal, sometimes the craving isn’t actually happening because we want something, it’s because you feel like you can’t or shouldn’t have it. 

  Remember when you were little and your parents or teacher told you not to do something (note - this might not apply to my people-pleasers), and it made you want to do it 10x more? I remember hiding behind the couch chopping my barbies hair as quickly as I could. Or jokes becoming 10x funnier in class when my friends and I were in jeopardy of the teacher yelling at us. 

  Humans are wired to survive. So whenever you notice a lack of anything, you’re programmed to think about it more. This instinct can diminish your decision making and control, leading you to crave something you “cannot” have. 

  However, if you simply recognize you CAN have it and it will ALWAYS be there, it becomes less urgent and more of a deliberate choice. 
  

  So please, have some cake this Wednesday, and when the weekend rolls around I want you to remind yourself you CAN have anything you want, but do you WANT it?